Slumdog Who?

Ok, this does it. This is the review that broke the camel’s back. I am talking about K. HARIHARAN’s review of Slumdog Millionaire published in The Hindu, here is a link http://www.hindu.com/mag/2009/02/15/stories/2009021550180500.htm. A few of my friends were discussing this review and it prompted me to write my review of the review. I don’t want to defend the movie but dissect some mindsets. I had read another similar review by Arindam Choudhri but I will not discuss that one here because it would be an insult to Mr. Hariharan to place Arindam in the same category as him. BTW if if India TV ever launches an English news channel they would have instant success with Arindam on their writing staff.

My take on the movie, I loved it. The phoo scene and the eye gouging scenes grossed me out but maybe that’s Danny’s style. Does it deserve and Oscar?! Hmm…. I think it was good but not “that� good. But anyway I am not the one to decide. For me, it was worth a watch, a nice love story, some humor, some clichés and overall a feel good movie. As for the music…its good, not as good as some of Rahman’s other compositions but then again they never got the platform of mass viewership that this movie provided.

And yes, the movie was made with the western audience in mind. As an entertainer Danny Boyle’s obligation is not to provide a realistic view of any society and present ‘both the sides of an argument’ nor does he have any moral obligations. As an entertainer his sole purpose is to capture the attention of his audience and entertain them for as long as he can (120 minutes). And this he does very well, it is evident from the movie’s success. Like I said earlier a movie is made to entertain a particular audience, the Western audience in this case but I am sure the audiences East of Calcutta, South of Mexico and North of Kashmir would find the movie entertaining as well. Because the movie is NOT about India, it is about the perseverance of the human spirit. Interchanging Dharavi and putting the backdrop of a Nazi concentration camp (Life is Beautiful, Schindler’s List) or a Chinese POW camp would have done little to the overall entertainment value of the film.

Now this is what a lot of Indians feel when they watch the movie. Imagine that you are a pretty 19 year old girl in college who has been trying to get the attention of that popular guy in college for quite some time. And the description of your first meeting is: He accidentally walks into your room where you are sitting in your pajamas with your hair in a mess a little bit of food is stuck to the side if your face and as soon as he walks in you let loose a loud stinking fart………..damn. I will leave you to imagine the emotions you might feel at that time (who knows some of you might enjoy it :P)

The above example is a bit distasteful but it goes to prove a point. But….the movie is not about India. Also what a lot of my fellow citizens feel is that if the movie had been made by an Indian it would have been a nice movie to watch and the same critics who are not so up-beat about the movie would be praising the ‘reality’ represented. An Indian director making this movie for an Indian audience would have replaced the 19 year old girl’s crush with her snoopy kid brother. And girl could have simply yelled at him and asked him to “get the fuc* out of her room�. She would not be embarrassed but just a bit annoyed.

Now let’s talk about Mr. Hariharan’s review. Let’s start at the end

“The writer is a well known filmmaker and director, LV Prasad Film and TV Academy.�

If you need to describe the place of work and your post to prove that you ar a famous film maker then maybe you are not that famous after all. The above line could have been the idea of the staff of The Hindu in which case I will let him off the hook. Indulge me for a bit here, K. Hariharan, in all his maturity (and most of us) would never so severely criticize a work by someone whom he considers his peer. And if he considered Danny to be his “junior� he would probably have had positive criticism and some appreciation for the effort. The fact that KH (K. Hariharan) goes all out on the movie suggests that he places Danny and the movie “above� himself and his works. And not just a little bit above because that would be insulting someone who is slightly more powerful and influential than you and who would want to do that! For KH the movie is so far above him and so powerful that he feels that whatever he says would not affect the movie or its success.

So why does he do it? I have a few theories.

A) He could be doing it to “stand out� and get some publicity, since everyone else is praising the movie.

B) Prove to some of his “intellectual� readers that there is someone who has the balls to defend them and take a potshot at the movie that caused them to feel a bit embarrassed. Although he very well knows that whatever he says would do nothing to damage SM but would still score him some brownie points from his readers. Buts it’s ok, it’s something all of us do when we criticize our politicians, businessmen etc when we want to kill some time.

C) Points A and B and demonstrate that he is skilled at the use of the English language and familiar with Western philosophy.

“This question would not even come up if the film was a pure caricature but unfortunately the film also seems to have fallen prey to the dictates of psychoanalytical “western realism�!�.

I mean… come on, why that word choice? Couldn’t you have said that in simpler language? If not then maybe you don’t fully understand what it means and that forces you to use such language. OR maybe you chose to preserve the complexity of the language to prove to your readers that what they are reading is indeed a product of a great mind. And after reading it they can say to themselves…

“wow, I read the definitions of those words somewhere and it seemed like some complicated stuff, so he must be smart! And I read it and understood it so I too am smart! :Dâ€?.

My personal favorite is point C. ( Yea, I know that I went a bit overboard there)

Aah again, Mr. KH, I know that you have been out of school for some time and might not remember things so well but just try to remember what your 5th grade language (English/Hindi/Tamil or whatever your native language is) teacher said about overrun sentences.

“The greed of the growing affluence of the IT boom that located the original “Millionaire/ Crorepati� shows continues unruffled as Danny Boyle refuses to deconstruct the syndrome that has left millions of us jobless, holding a begging bowl and hoping against hope that Prez Obama will press the right buttons to bring us all out of a similar shit-pool that Jamal falls into in his anxiety to have a glimpse of a superstar.�

What would she have to say about this sentence structure? Don’t make me recommend your name for a position on the writing staff of India TV. You are better than this and you know it!

“I do not expect Danny Boyle to do serious research about the conditions of slums in India or the problem of petty crooks and brothels confronting the law. But I expect him to pay respect to something called “characterisation� and the fact that Indian audiences know these characters on-screen for much longer and in greater depth.�

Hmmm…why? The only circumstances where your remark would be appropriate would be when you had custom ordered the movie and hired Danny to make the movie for you, or if Danny was your student.

SM is a product, sold in the open market at a price decided upon by the market forces and there are several made every year, made available to the public at a reasonable price, if you don’t like it just go to the next one. And since we want to be a part of the global economy people from other countries will try to sell us their products, be it movies, Coke, Femina or cosmetics. And yes, when people actually sell their products they like to market them using various tools like award ceremonies, beauty pageants and short films and posters called advertisements. Its upto you if you want to buy them or not.

Lastly, hmm… the the contents of your article don’t really explain the title you chose. You never come close to discussing Orientalism or the global markets.

To Mr. KH. Lighten up, its just a movie, if you don’t like it then go watch something else.

In your defense you can say “There are other newspaper reviews out there, go read something else :P�

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Here go the contents in “Puraana Dictionary ”
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Amusing

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India and Indians and those who don’t want to be Indians.

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My thoughts are:
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Movie quotes

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If you know any interesting quotes let me now.

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